The Hubble Telescope turned 30 during week five of lockdown. Instead of mitching from homeschooling duties, Stella decided to share wondrous NASA images of deep space with her son. But after three minutes of quasars and galaxy clusters so huge they could bend light she ran to the bathroom. She couldn’t cope with too muchness, it turned her stomach. Perhaps the earth couldn’t cope anymore either and simply had to stop and sit on the cosmic toilet, waiting and wondering, blaming the cheese and resolving to live on cooled boiled water. Yes, the earth was one of us.